James Randi Admits to Supernatural Powers on Deathbed

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Disappointing many fans, James Randi, debunking hero, announced, in a videotaped confession, he was in fact a telepath with telekinetic abilities shortly before he died.

“I want to apologize to the faithful and the faithless for my ruse,” said Randi.  “I’ve been living with this dark secret all my days, and profiting thereby.  I’d also like to apologize to all the actual psychics for convincing the public they were frauds.  And to the public.  In fact, I used my superior abilities to override and siphon the powers from other psychics, leaving them pitiable husks in the bargain.  I simply could not resist the opportunity to get one over on everyone.  So, yes, everyone–I’m sorry.”

Randi explained he also has the power to plant thoughts, erase memories, and cause liberals to vote for Ron Paul.  He went on to admit he had been planning on taking his secret to the grave but felt compelled to make his last minute admission because he thought Jesus wanted him to.

Some skeptics immediately claimed they were not fooled all along.

“I always found it rather suspect that the psychics would agree to go along with Randi’s stunts,” said Gregory Jones, editor-in-chief of Skeptical?.  “If I were a fraud, I would have declined or perhaps moved to Brazil rather than get showed up on stage.

James Randi founded the James Randi Educational Foundation, whose mission had been to warn the public of the dangers of unproven claims and provide scientific means of exploring paranormal claims.  It used to offer a million dollar reward for anyone who could prove paranormal activities under controlled scientific conditions.

In his will, James Randi left that prize to Mel Gibson.

(“Time Traveler’s Daily” brings you news from the future.  If it’s here, it’ll happen.)

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One thought on “James Randi Admits to Supernatural Powers on Deathbed

    Yeah Right! Skeptics said:
    02/17/2012 at 11:46 pm

    Funny.

Thank you, keep it courteous.

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